Yesterday my dear friend from church and care group, Adrienne, stopped over to visit. She took a few pictures from her time with us that she later sent to me. Here they are. She tried to get Scrubs and Isaac in a photo together but neither of them would cooperate.
Today is an exciting day for Isaac as, if all goes according to plan, he will be circumcised today! Actually, we aren't sure how excited he is by the prospect of this procedure so we have attempted to only whisper our intentions so not to scare him. JB got him into the computer system yesterday so hopefully they can get the procedure done. There is only a small window in which they can do this before they will have to put him out for the procedure so we definitely wanted to get it done today if possible. The lawyer sent us everything they could to prove he is our son. Apparently it was enough, and he is now an official military child. Prior to this paperwork, the only thing I had was his footprints from the hospital. Doctor G. laughed when I handed the piece of paper to her. That was probably not enough to prove parenthood.
Life in our household is wonderful. Last night Isaac went nearly five hours between feedings! My dear mother took a three hour nap yesterday, waking up at almost 5:00pm. So when I told her to head to bed for the evening, and I'd be with Isaac, she looked at me like I was crazy. She was completely wired and ready to have a party. So I left Isaac with her and got a few hours of sleep before returning to spend more time with him. The first few nights he was home, he seemed to have his days and nights mixed up. But this seems to slowly be evening out.
We continue to be asked how we are feeling. Our friend Ronnie called and said, "So take me through your emotions ..." Wow! What a question. Honestly, I'm not sure that I can possibly put our emotions onto "paper". Things are starting to feel a bit more real, but we continue to think that this is a dream we will soon wake up from. I have often heard the expression that you need to pinch yourself. I really feel that way! How can he be our's? How can he live at our house? How can he not be going home soon? Is it really possible?
We also feel like every moment is an incredible gift. I am not sure if every mother feels this way, but I surely do. We do not know if we will ever parent a newborn child again. We do not know if we will ever change those itty bitty diapers again. Isaac currently has three onesies that fit him and that we are washing every day. (Thanks Cali Tara!) Everything else is way too big. He's so tiny (except his feet -- they are huge!) We don't know that we will ever have this privilege again. It therefore causes everything you do to be looked at in an amazing light -- treasuring every little moment you get to spend with him with incredible appreciation.
I am also still dealing with the fact that I have left one world and entered another. During the last few days, I have had the opportunity to speak with some of my friends from my infertility circle. I have trouble finding the same words of encouragement for them when Isaac is here. My heart will always be with the barren. How can I continue to minister, encourage, and love these women when I now don't wake up to a quiet house? I am not sure. Many people had warned me of this "transition to the other side." I am making it slowly. Even though I am technically still infertile, I still feel childless as well. I am not sure when or if that will completely change.
I continue to be amazed that after so many years of waiting, our house is more than just two people and their mischievous dog. But it is. And I love it.
9 comments:
Don't let him change TOO much before June 14th!!! I want to hold that precious little baby!
I think you will always do a great job of ministering to those who struggle with infertility because you have walked that road for many years, and truly do know the heartbeat of everyone in that situation.
You will never take Isaac for granted, and will Always understand (as some moms may forget in the midst of daily life) that each child is a precious Gift... never a Right, or something we Deserve.
Thank you for all you've taught me!
Hey Wendi, It seems that you have transitioned into mommy-hood quite naturally and that you are very good at it! You have wisdom lots of moms take years to realize-that most simply take for granted: you totally understand the miracle of a child.
And as far as this new connection with so many friends who have been on the same path as you during your infertility struggles, I think that you are in a very wonderful position -one who just shines HOPE!
And a testimony of unbelievable encouragement.
People -whatever their position in life- need to witness a miracle now and then. That is the gift you and JB and Bri are sharing. That you know an awesome God and He loves you more than anything and is with you every step of the way. And how out of the deep,gut-wrenching pain can come LIFE and unimaginable Joy!
So, take one day at a time, sweetie and don't worry about ministering to others or trying to figure out your own emotions-just enjoy each and every day, one day at a time.
love you dearly, mom k
1 wk old already?! Wow! :o)
I'm sure most mothers feel that their children are gifts, but those of us who struggle with infertility, I believe, appreciate our children on a different, more intense level. I know it doesn't take much for me to remember what it was like without children. It sounds kinda crazy, but every time the boys are really sick or when they have other health issues I actually feel more like a mom than when they're well. There was the possibility that I may never be a mom and get to experience that intense love that only a mother feels for a child, especially a sick child.
I know you'll still be able to minister to those who struggle with infertility. You will be a great source of comfort to those in the midst of their grief because of what you've been through, and you'll be able to help those that have children but still feel the sting of IF. I know you've ministered to me so many times through your blog. The most recent being when you mentioned how Isaac isn't your child or Bri's child, but God's. That has helped me put some recent events into perspecitive. So thank you for that.
I love all the pictures of Isaac, especially the ones of you holding him. I can see the joy in your smile.
Bethany
I've heard a saying that goes something like "ministry happens in every day life'. As you go thru life Wen, you will see divine appointments that you could never plan or prepare for. You are equipped to minister cause it's IN you. You are such a gift to everyone you encounter. I love you! Mom
If I were not having computer issues I would be hounding you about your feelings. Consider yourself spared!
I will say that even as an infertile person, I do take the boys for granted sometimes. Don't feel guilty if you realize at some point that you have. It's normal! Just because we are IF doesn't make us super mom.
I'm really thrilled it's going so well! I must admit that I had a hard time adjusting to the no sleep when E came home, and I did not cherish every moment. Many moments, yes, but not all.
One week old - wow! That's rockin'!
john's mom said exactly my heart for you...
i love you tante jan
Aww, visiting your blog just warms my heart! It's kind of therapeutic actually (you know the stress I'm under right now). I cannot express how happy I am for you and John. You two have truly been an inspiration to me. Not because I'm trying to have a baby (heck, I'm not even married yet), but because you two have been a spiritual and emotional model of how we should all have the faith to move mountains, and MOVE them (gracefully, of course). I love you guys!
Hi baby Isaac! Can't wait to see you!
I LOVE what Mom K wrote about you shining HOPE and being a testimony of encouragement. I very much agree! It warms my heart and gives me HOPE to read your story.
-a HP gal
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